The historical evidence for England's patron saint, Saint George, is decidedly thin; Edward Gibbon in Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire identified George of Cappadocia, (d.361 AD) Bishop of Alexandria and a former contractor to the Roman army as the probable original for the saint. This particular George seems to have lived a far from saintly life, and was killed by a mob after he had behaved in an especially oppressive manner towards the citizens of Alexandria.
This song attempts to find something praiseworthy to celebrate in our national saint by associating him with one of the greatest dishes in the English cuisine:-
The Ballad of Saint George
Come all you loyal English folk, and pass around the flagon;
While I sing about Saint George – though he never slew a dragon -
For the tales of this bold hero have all probably been forged,
And there’s not one single undisputed fact relating to Saint George.
According to some histories, (although they may be mistaken),
George was a black market crook, who served Roman troops with bacon.
He served them a full English, long before English was a language,
But his culinary masterpiece was the kosher bacon sandwich.
George cheated once too often, and when his customers grew angrier,
He had to flee from justice, and he decamped to Alexandria.
There he deposed the archbishop by methods quite unruly,
Became bishop in his place, and he taxed the people cruelly.
He was imprisoned for his crimes, until one December morning,
A mob of angry pagans stormed the jail without a warning.
And as they attacked the bishop he was heard to cry in anguish;
“Pray let me have one last bite of my breakfast bacon sandwich.”
George was trampled to death by the mob in all its fury,
They humped his body out of town aboard a dromedary.
Then they chopped his body up into tiny little pieces,
Then they threw them in the harbour and fed him to the fishes.
Now a paragon of virtue, George of Cappadocia ain’t,
But the cruelty of his martyrdom qualifies him as a saint.
So now in many countries, and in many a strange language,
People worship Saint George and his holy bacon sandwich.
At the Siege of Jerusalem when the English knights were famished,
In a halal market stall they discovered George’s bacon sandwich.
Which gave them strength to conquer, and in memory thereafter,
They founded in its honour the Noble Order of the Garter.
The flower of English chivalry will scorn the tasteless BLT,
White bread, brown sauce and margarine alone command our loyalty;
Cry England, Harry and St George! Salute the glorious land which
Still venerates the noble bacon sandwich.
Matthew Edwards 23 April 2010
I sang this at the Beech Inn for Saint George's Day in 2010 to some mild applause, but I have to thank Fred McCormick for some of the more outrageous rhymes which first appeared in his song of The Bacon Butty.
